In a world where emotional intelligence, adaptability, and resilience define high-performing leaders, we may be overlooking one of the most powerful leadership development experiences of all: parenting.
While this piece reflects my own experience as a mother, the leadership lessons apply to anyone in a caregiving role — from fathers to adoptive parents and beyond.
A few days ago, I took my two boys — aged ten and a half and almost five — for a jog.
Simple enough. Until, about halfway through, a dilemma appeared. My older son had a plan: charge ahead into the forest, free and fast. My younger one, after a burst of enthusiasm, flagged. He was tired and reluctant to go any further.
I had given my eldest the role of a group leader. I covered the rear.
And there it was: two competing needs, a team stretched in different directions, a leader with a plan who now had to rethink, adapt, and include.
In that moment — on that village road — leadership was not some abstract theory. It was alive, messy, emotional, real.
Motherhood: The Leadership School No One Talks About
Motherhood often gets tucked away as a “soft” life experience, mentioned politely on CVs (if at all), while professional accomplishments take centre stage.
But those of us who juggle leadership at home and in our careers know the truth: motherhood is a masterclass in leadership.
It teaches:
- Conflict resolution — not just smoothing over disagreements, but addressing real emotional needs.
- Goal setting — and the art of flexible execution when reality hits.
- Inclusion — understanding that a team is only as strong as its slowest member.
- Resilience — making tough calls, sometimes upsetting someone, and still holding the team together.
- Communication — especially active listening, hearing not just the words but the unsaid worries.
- Inspiration and motivation — bringing a team along not through authority, but through heart.
- Delegation and empowerment — trusting others to lead parts of the journey, even if it means a slower or messier path.
Leadership Is Not a Title — It’s a Daily Practice
Standing on the side of that road leading into the forest, I talked to my older son. I explained that being the leader of the pack meant looking after everyone, not just charging ahead.
That sometimes leadership involves frustration. It means taking responsibility for the slowest — not because they are less than, but because leadership is about bringing everyone across the line, not just yourself.
I invited him to look at the bigger picture and make the decision.
He chose to head back home. Later, we scheduled a separate, faster run for just the two of us.
That’s leadership. Not always a “win-win”, but a commitment to inclusion, resilience, and long-term success.
The Research Backs This Up
The parallels between parenting and leadership aren’t just anecdotal. Research from organizations like the Harvard Business Review has found that parenthood enhances workplace skills that are increasingly valued, including efficiency, empathy, and crisis management. One study by Clark University found that mothers in leadership positions were rated as more effective by their employees, particularly in areas of emotional intelligence and collaboration. These findings confirm what many parent-leaders already know: the skills honed at home transfer powerfully to professional settings.
What Women leaders Already Know
To every woman balancing professional ambition with the messy, beautiful unpredictability of family life:
you are not stepping away from leadership when you parent.
You are stepping deeper into it. Children will test your leadership in ways no MBA ever could. You are sharpening the very skills that organisations so desperately need: empathy, vision, resilience, adaptability, courage.
Motherhood is not a gap in your leadership journey. It is leadership — at its most human, and therefore it is the most powerful.
And maybe, just maybe, it’s time we started naming it.
Beyond “Soft Skills
Some might argue that business leadership requires technical expertise or industry knowledge that parenting doesn’t provide. And they’re right—in part. Industry knowledge matters. But as organizations increasingly recognize the critical importance of emotional intelligence, adaptability, and ethical decision-making, the leadership foundations built through parenting become ever more relevant. The “soft skills” developed through motherhood are, in fact, the hardest to teach and the most essential for navigating today’s complex work environments.
* Note: To reinforce, while this article focuses on motherhood through my personal lens, these leadership lessons emerge from the broader experience of caregiving. Fathers, adoptive parents, and all who take on nurturing responsibilities develop similar skills. Regardless of gender or biological connection. What matters is the daily commitment to guiding, supporting, and growing alongside those in our care.
To be clear, this doesn’t suggest that people without children lack leadership abilities or cannot develop them through other meaningful experiences. Leadership skills flourish in countless contexts. Rather, this piece simply highlights how parenting—far from being a separate “state” of being—is an integral part of the equation called life, one that develops capabilities that translate powerfully to professional settings.
picture: Pixabay
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